I’m more popular than porn?

•November 5, 2007 • Leave a Comment

So the other day I was using Stumbleupon (great time waster/finder of stuff that you’ve seen 1000 times before), and found this http://www.top25web.com/pagerank.php. It is a site that tells you the page rank for the sites you input. So naturally, I try this site. Some how it’s a page rank 4. So my friend thought it would be a great idea to make a porn site and I was bored and put it in there. Page rank 2. I’m more popular than porn. If you want to know the site, its http://www.chuckfucter.com. Help him almost break even. It wasn’t the cash cow we thought it would be. Wondering about my stats I went to google’s webmaster thing. Apparently, my #1 search term is “sweet im”. I have no clue what that means but I’ll take it. Here are some more weird ones “getting nskrd”, ” infected penis”, and “bgpl“. What a bunch of random shit.


PAM is a bitch

•October 9, 2007 • Leave a Comment

So I’ve been gone for over a month, and I assumed that no one reads this shit that I post. Apparently, I’m wrong. I get something like 40 views a day. So anyway about PAM, it’s a bitch. If you don’t know what PAM is go here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pluggable_Authentication_Modules Pretty much it’s an overly complicated way to make sure users are authenticated. I don’t really know why we need it, we have Shadow. Pretty much it solves the problem of having your password hashes in /etc/passwd which is readable by everyone. Having your password hashes readable by everyone is bad news waiting to happen. So /etc/shadow is root only readable, which makes it pointless to crack since you could just change the hash to something known. Which leads me to what I did or was attempting to do. I was trying to change PAM to use BlowFish instead of salted MD5 for password hashes. Why use a cryptographically weaker algorithm you ask? Simple BlowFish takes a really fucking long time when you switch keys. Which means brute forcing, making a rainbow table, or dictionary attack is pretty much impossible unless you use a password like “lol”. So john the ripper on my computer can crack my salted MD5s at a rate of about 2000 per second. Thats pretty good but I could speed that up by salting a rainbow table and hashing it to revel the true hash (I’m pretty sure that would work and this time the key rate should be in the 100,000’s). Now BlowFish runs at the slow ass pace or about 100 keys a second. That’s really slow. So I embarked on this adventure and thought I had it. All I did was make all the text that I type in disappear. I was pretty sure I locked myself out so I packed up and went to the lab. When I got there, i typed in exit and logged out. I logged into root with out seeing anything and lo and behold I could see my text again. So I just reverted my files and I’m back.

On a totally unrelated note, where I may or may not have given a presentation, if you put your wireless card into a cretin mode, you might be able to see some possibly interesting networks and traffic or it could do jack shit.

Maybe I should have said this sooner…

•August 30, 2007 • Leave a Comment

But I changed to gentoo a while ago. I was kernel upgrading and I made a boo boo. Some how it corrupted gcc and /boot so I was pretty much fucked. And instead of fixing it by probably booting to a liveCD and chrooting into it, I just took advise (from constant harassment to try gentoo) from another LUG member. Gentoo is ok, but i want to go back to slackware but don’t have the time to.

All is well in modern suburbia.

•August 18, 2007 • 1 Comment

Does anyone else hate the middle class? I sure do, and for a matter of fact I hate the upper class to. Mainly, because they bitch about stupid shit. At least the lower class bitch about stuff that is a matter of life and death. Actually, I hate uneducated people that are overly vocal about it and/or do stupid stuff.

One example of this is driving with your parking lights on. Way to look like a tool. There is a reason that they are called parking lights, you turn them on when you are parking temporarily. Not when you are driving during the day (I’m pretty sure this is illegal in Maryland), not when you are driving in the rain (Illegal to do so), and not during the night (dumb as hell). Your vision isn’t improved with these lights, it just makes me want to sterilize everyone in your family.

I have a theory, the richer you are the more likely you are to wear crocs. If you don’t know what these are, crocs are molded plastic clogs that look ridiculous. They look like something a homeless man would find in the trash and he would leave them there. They aren’t stylish, and there is no way they feel good.

Have you guys seen the “A Douche Drives this Car” bumper sticker? They are all over the place. You may also know them as “ReImpeach Bush”, “1-29-08” and the crossed out “W” sticker”. Last time i checked, Bush was never impeached. And talking about the anti “W” sticker, last week I saw one of those stickers, but it was put on upside down so it was a crossed out “M”. Way to go. If I remember correctly, which could be wrong since I was young, the conservatives didn’t bitch as much about Clinton. When a Socialist is elected to office in 08, I’m going to raise holy hell, just so they know what they were like for the past 8 years.

Today some lady came to me at work and told me that I shouldn’t be using paper towels because it is “destroying the rain forest”. I hate to break it to you, but the rain forest is being burnt down for farmland, not cut down to make paper towels. I’m so glad that she walked to the park totally naked and ate vegetables you grew in your compost garden at your house. What’s that you say? She drove here in a car that burns oil, which leads to Global Warming(tm), wears clothes that are made of cotton and industrially produced in china using child labor, ate a cheese burger, which was made by raping (milking) cows then slaughtering them inhumanly and drank Coca-Cola in a wax paper cup? Oh sorry I didn’t get the memo that all of this was ok as long as you save the rain forest. Just to clarify things, a lot of paper towels are made of post consumer content. Cotton is a crop, so if we didn’t harvest it, odds are it would die out. Same goes with cows.

On a side note, I’m to lazy to proof read this. Sorry but I’m drag ass tired

And this is why it’s not called “Brainbook”

•August 15, 2007 • Leave a Comment

So if you didn’t know already Penn State student football tickets are going for an insane amount. So on facebook, I made this market place post as a joke

Season tickets in the JR section. I don’t want money, I want your soul and a kidney.

Clearly, semi retarded people can tell this is a joke. Despite this I have gotten multiple replies. Going from the joking to the dead serious. The first one was from a friend saying that they would give their soul for the Notre Dame ticket jokingly, and I thought that would be the end of it. WRONG. A few minutes later I got a reply that it was a funny listing, but was I seriously selling them. A few more sarcastic replies came in, then this dumbass touched a keyboard

face value man let me know

Yes, Cody K, I’m going to sell you a set of tickets that are worth over 1,000 dollars for 190 dollars. Retard. But it doesn’t stop there, someone offered me $600. I thought I clearly stated that no monetary value would suffice. Then I got this

I want to buy your item on behalf of my client. I will pay you any amount you which to sell it as buy it now. My client will send you Money Order as a mode of payment. The item is going to my client manager in USA. The shipping will be made by my client once you received the M/O. If u agree to sell the item for me. Kindly send your address, phone#. Just email me with address and name asap today, so that the M/O can be send on tomorrow. Make sure you tell me the price you want to sell your item in your reply and email me with your address ASAP today. Hope to hear from you soon…mail me back to my email address (willitsw44@gmail.com)

ORLY? “John Jeff” of Albany, New York? You don’t even have a fucking picture. Then I got this, the best one due to it being serious

RYAN I WILL DO ANYTHING!! LITERALLY ANYTHING!! I cried for like 2 days straight when i saw that i was on at 9 am and didnt get ticketes i am going to be a junior and NEED tickets. I will pay you 300 at the most. I am a college student, i dont have much money i dont know how other people are paying 750 for them. PLEASE help me out!

Any thing? Would that include me fucking you, then fucking you again by not giving you tickets? Thats probably illegal tho. Taylor you are a baby for crying for 2 days, maybe a few hours but 2 days? Ok I lied, I would have cried for at least 2 days too. Tickets are “wants” not “needs”, you won’t die if you don’t have tickets. Also last time I checked EVERYONE with student tickets are STUDENTS.

Then someone told me “you can have mine.” I was pretty sure that she was being sarcastic but I replied to her saying that if she was serious that there are other people that “need” them more than I do. This one is the second best


I’m still getting offers and inquiries about me selling my tickets. It’s great to know that all these people made it into college.

What would happen if I had an advice column

•July 11, 2007 • Leave a Comment

There really doesn’t need to be a lot of explaining so lets just go and see what my “advice” column would look like:

Q: I recently found out I have herpes and didn’t tell my boyfriend. What should I do?

A: Clearly get a more classy STD like gonorrhea. Ask any 1920’s hooker. They all have it and they are CLASSY. Or you could wait until you are going to break up and then then he gets it tell everyone he was cheating.

Q: My father just died and I recently inherited a good sum (500K) of money. What should I invest in?

A: You have a few options, first of which is give it all to me and if I get rich I’ll return double. If not that sucks for you. Second option is to buy a shit load of potato chips. Just hang with me for a second please. You take all the big chips and eat them and throw away the little chips. Now you know what it feels like to be rich. The reason that don’t give them to poor people is a 2 parts. First of all then they think that they will get everything for free. The second part is that it could possible destabilize the potato chip market and no one wants that. Thirdly, buy a lotto ticket everyday, you are bound to win. Lastly, help some Nigerian trying to smuggle in money.

Q: We are concerned about out child’s weight (145 lb and age 10). We don’t know what to do. Can you help?

A: Sure I can. First off, it’s not his weight that’s the problem it’s your look on life. You need to tap the little tapped marked of American Sumo wrestlers. Just keep up what you are doing and maybe exacerbate it more. Instead of him playing halo make him play WoW for at least 8 hours a day. Also make sure he always get the largest size when you eat at fast food (which should be 5 times a day, 1 more time than normal). Also make sure that he doesn’t have to do anything physical in school. I mean they don’t make stupid people take hard classes do they? By the time hes 20 he should be at least 400lbs. Have a good day.

Q: Have you seen Sicko?

A: That’s not asking for advice but I’ll give you some anyway. Go to Canada and shoot yourself in the face. When your life is on the line money is an after thought.

Q: Who shuld i vote 4, Obama or HillDog? i mean they r both g00d LOLZ. Obama iz c00l guy of teh peeps and wants 2 help every1. pls he will b the 1 blk presedent. and hillary was bills wife so she must kno stuff and what not. aslo shes a woman.

A: Neither, but you can help me out. Shoot yourself too. We can compare who got better care and who lived. If you are dumb enough to blindly vote for those people and anyone else that is mainstream media hyped (Rudy, McCain, Edwards, etc) with out checking the facts and what they stand for you don’t deserve to vote. But if you do vote, write in Jay Bundy.

Ok, that was fun. If you have any read questions, just comment and I’ll make a post answering all of them in August or September.

Full Slackware 12.0 Review

•July 3, 2007 • 20 Comments

So as you all should know by now, the king of Linuxes, Slackware, just released version 12.0. After over 14 years Slackware still holds true to its ideals of keeping it simple and straight forward.

The Linux Kernel: 10/10

Slackware 12.0 has kernel version, which is the most current version as of now. It also supports SMP.

Window managers and Desktop environments: 9/10

Let me start off by saying that I want to give a 10/10 on this one but I can’t for 2 reasons. First of all it is gnomeless (I don’t like gnome but I know others do). If you want gnome go here http://droplinegnome.org. My second reason is that it doesn’t come with beryl. Now I only docked 1/2 a point on this because it is not something Pat would include or that anyone would need, it just looks nice. Slackware 12 comes with everything from KDE 3.5.7 and Xfce 4.4.1 to twm. It also includes fluxbox, blackbox, windomaker and fvm2. This really shouldn’t go here but gtk+-2.10.13 is also included.

X.org: 10/10

Slackware has finally moved to modular X.org. In this release it comes with version 7.2 which is the current version to date.

Graphics Card support: 8/10

Slackware 12 doesn’t come with any closed source drives, but you you want to install them yourself you can. The Nvidia drives work fine for me, but the only problem is that it doesn’t come in a .tgz

Browsers and Email Clients: 10/10

Again Slackware 12 is up to date, coming with Firefox, Konqueror, Seamonkey 1.1.2, links and lynx. And for email clients it has Thunderbird, Kmail and mutt. There may be a few more but these are the main ones.

Chat Clients: 10/10

Despite the snafu with Pidgin, Slackware 12 includes Pidgin 2.0.2. It also include Kopete. For irc, there are more clients that you would ever need, some of which include xchat, irssi, bitchx, epic.

Music Players: 10/10

This version of Slackware has dropped XMMS (RIP) in favor of audacious. If you like a music player with a bigger footprint and do more than just plays music, there is the current version of Amarok. And for cli music players there is mgp123 in /extra.

Text Editors: 10/10

You may like Emacs, you may like vi, it really doesn’t matter because it has both and even more. It has my personal favorite Joe. It also includes nano, pico, jove, vim, and kate.

Movie Players: 9/10

Slackware 12 comes with GXine and Xine. If you want mplayer you can go here: http://www.slacky.eu/repository/slackware-11.0/multimedia/mplayer/1.0rc1try3/ Even tho it says it is for version 11, it should still work with 12. There should be a 12.0 version very soon too. Also you will need the codecs which can be found here: http://www.slacky.eu/repository/slackware-11.0/multimedia/all/20061022/

Office Suites: 8.5/10

Sorry Pat, but I’m going to have to give you an penalty on this one. Slackware 12 comes with KOffice. If you want OpenOffice, you will have to go to my favorite 3rd party Slackware site, slacky.eu again and download it from here: http://www.slacky.eu/repository/slackware-11.0/office/openoffice/2.2.1/en-us/ I use OpenOffice and it works fine, but I guess Pat doesn’t care for java.

Terminals and shells: 9.5/10

Slackware 12 comes with rxvt, xterm and Konsole. It lacks my personal favorite Aterm. You can head on over to slacky.eu, and go to utilities to find aterm, eterm, and mrxvt. For shells they have all that you can ask for. Some of them include bash, ksh, zsh, and csh.

Cd/Dvd Burning: 10/10

Again Slackware 12 has growisofs, k3b and more. This is enough to burn cd’s and dvd’s and copy them.

Compiling tools: 9.5/10

Even tho it doesn’t have the most recent version of GCC (4.2.0) it does include version 4.1.2. It also include autotools, cvs, ruby, svn and other tools that you may or may not ever use.

Server software: 10/10

This is where Slackware really shines. Slackware finally ditched apache 1.x in favor of the newer apache 2.2.4 Also Php was updated to version 5.2.3 Slackware 12 also comes with the most recent version of bind, cups, dhcp, mysql 5.0.37, procmail, proftpd, smbd, ssh, and vsftpd. I probably forgot some, but Slackware can be just about any server you want it to be.

System Internals: 9.5/10

Slackware 12 finally comes with both HAL and Dbus. It also comes with just about every library under the sun. The only dependency problem you might have is if it requires a something from gnome. The boot scripts are still bsdesk SysV. And this version of Slackware is as stable as ever. I will probably get flamed for this one, but Slackware 12 comes WITH a package manager called pkgtools. It doesn’t resolve dependencies or fetch packages remotely. These functions ARE NOT requirements for something to be a package manager. If you want dependency checking and repo fetching you can install slapt-get, but you can find it yourself because I don’t recommend it.

Install: N/A

I can not really give this a score because I didn’t install 12, I upgraded a previous install to Slackware 12. But it should have the same setup as it always had. This is a command line installer. It ISN’T hard. Don’t listen to what people say.
UPDATE: I run -current so all I did was rsync and upgradepkg –install-new a few packages and I was running 12. Also the installer isn’t GUI so I consider it CLI even tho IIRC it is ncurses.

Repositories and Communities: 9/10

Slackware’s community may not be as big as ubuntu’s, but they know what they are talking about. A good place to go for help is ##slackware on freenode. There are many knowledgeable people there, many are more knowledgeable then me. If you want a forum, LinuxQuestions is a great place despite a few fools. http://www.linuxquestions.org/questions/forumdisplay.php?forumid=14 If you want an online repo, use http://slacky.eu/ It isn’t in English (it’s Italian, so if you can read Italian you are even better off), but the box to the right type in what you want and and hit enter. 90% of the time you’ll find what you are looking for. Slacky.eu has both the .tgz package and a .slackbuild in case you want to compile it yourself. Also you can go to http://slackbuilds.org/ if you want to compile it yourself. Just do everyone a favor, and DO NOT USE linuxpackages.net I’m not even going to link to that site. They are horrible. They DO NOT compile in a clean environment, so you will get random dependencies. You also don’t know what is in there. For all you know they could be root kitted. Also, they are kind of shady. They have popups that get around firefox’s blocker and apparently have a package to stop people from “leeching” or reselling.

Overall score: 9.5/10

I HIGHLY recommend Slackware 12 to anyone that has an open mind and isn’t afraid to maybe get their hands a tad dirty. Slackware won’t baby you like ubuntu, but you will learn a lot more about Linux with Slackware. If anyone has anything to add or comment on please leave a comment and I will change it.

Update: This review has been dugg so if you would please digg it http://digg.com/linux_unix/Full_Slackware_12_0_Review