All is well in modern suburbia.
Does anyone else hate the middle class? I sure do, and for a matter of fact I hate the upper class to. Mainly, because they bitch about stupid shit. At least the lower class bitch about stuff that is a matter of life and death. Actually, I hate uneducated people that are overly vocal about it and/or do stupid stuff.
One example of this is driving with your parking lights on. Way to look like a tool. There is a reason that they are called parking lights, you turn them on when you are parking temporarily. Not when you are driving during the day (I’m pretty sure this is illegal in Maryland), not when you are driving in the rain (Illegal to do so), and not during the night (dumb as hell). Your vision isn’t improved with these lights, it just makes me want to sterilize everyone in your family.
I have a theory, the richer you are the more likely you are to wear crocs. If you don’t know what these are, crocs are molded plastic clogs that look ridiculous. They look like something a homeless man would find in the trash and he would leave them there. They aren’t stylish, and there is no way they feel good.
Have you guys seen the “A Douche Drives this Car” bumper sticker? They are all over the place. You may also know them as “ReImpeach Bush”, “1-29-08” and the crossed out “W” sticker”. Last time i checked, Bush was never impeached. And talking about the anti “W” sticker, last week I saw one of those stickers, but it was put on upside down so it was a crossed out “M”. Way to go. If I remember correctly, which could be wrong since I was young, the conservatives didn’t bitch as much about Clinton. When a Socialist is elected to office in 08, I’m going to raise holy hell, just so they know what they were like for the past 8 years.
Today some lady came to me at work and told me that I shouldn’t be using paper towels because it is “destroying the rain forest”. I hate to break it to you, but the rain forest is being burnt down for farmland, not cut down to make paper towels. I’m so glad that she walked to the park totally naked and ate vegetables you grew in your compost garden at your house. What’s that you say? She drove here in a car that burns oil, which leads to Global Warming(tm), wears clothes that are made of cotton and industrially produced in china using child labor, ate a cheese burger, which was made by raping (milking) cows then slaughtering them inhumanly and drank Coca-Cola in a wax paper cup? Oh sorry I didn’t get the memo that all of this was ok as long as you save the rain forest. Just to clarify things, a lot of paper towels are made of post consumer content. Cotton is a crop, so if we didn’t harvest it, odds are it would die out. Same goes with cows.
On a side note, I’m to lazy to proof read this. Sorry but I’m drag ass tired